Friday, April 25, 2014

Infertility- Forgiving My Broken Body


Infertility often causes women to feel inadequate, especially when thinking about their bodies. I used to feel angry and disappointed with my body... because my body is not capable of doing the most basic thing women were created to do. If you take a look over some of my infertility posts you can see a lot of that anger and sadness in the beginning of my journey. Fortunately, this post isn't about all those ugly feelings. It's about how you can change the way you think about yourself.


I am very blessed to sit here today and confidently say that I don't feel that way about my body anymore. Through a very long journey (5 years and counting,) I have allowed myself to heal. Today I wanted to share with you one of the biggest things that have made a difference in my journey. What has allowed me to forgive my body. What has helped me feel love and respect towards myself despite my struggle with infertility.

Health Journey's Guided Meditation to Help with Fertility by Belleruth Naparstek

This cd is amazing. Friends, I can't even express to you how much this mediation can help with every part of your journey. Whether you are trying to conceive, need reassurance about your journey, or need help moving on, this is a life changer. For my personal use, I skip to the last chapter of the meditation and only listen to it, as it was the part that I needed the most help with.

Chapter 4- Helping with grief, resolution and reclaiming one's life (with or after infertility.)

Here's just a small sample of the reassuring, kind words you'll hear that help you reshape the way you think about yourself, your body and your journey. I hope you'll listen to them with an open heart...
 
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"Sending waves of kindness through your heavy heart. Soothing the torn, jagged places. Opening, warming and softening all around the pain. Sending comfort and solace deep into your heart."

"It is understood how much hurting you've done. The cycles of hoping and disappointment. The wordless ache of longing. The heaviness on your heart. The moments of self blame. Or the outrage that has felt like betrayal from your very own flesh. All that pain is understood. Heartbreakingly intense at one moment and heavy and dull the next. All of it is understood. And you can gently allow yourself to acknowledge the toll that this takes on yourself and possibly others."

"Give yourself the time you need to allow for the sorrow and rinse away the grief. Showing respect for yourself and for the depth of what you've been through."

"Your body is your oldest friend, that has been through so much with you. Your body is your most trusted companion."

"Your body can feel light with liberation as you see the new road ahead, gleaming with possibility. All of it waiting for you, for when the time is right. Just knowing that the road is there for you to take whenever you may want to take it."

"Suddenly you are certain, you know with your whole heart, your whole being, that there is a place where nothing is lost. Where all the dreams you have ever dreamed, every wish you have ever longed for, can still nourish you and complete you and give meaning to your life. Giving life to newer dreams."

"Even this pain can be a teacher, showing you something you need to know about who you are and who you're becoming. And you know that this will look different to you in time."

"The pain is permanently softened when all of this has become a part of all of the depth, the richness and the texture that is your life. Knowing in a deep place that you are better for this, and so you are."

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There is a great deal of freedom and joy that  comes from moving past your struggle, friends. I've been there. I've been through the days, weeks, months, years of crying, anger, disappointment, bitterness and heat break that is infertility. And I want you to know that it doesn't always have to be like that.

If you're interested in the Help with Infertility Meditation, I highly recommend you buy a copy for yourself. It has truly helped me to reshape the way I think about myself, my body and my journey... allowing me to move past the struggle and towards a more positive life. You can get a copy here: Health Journeys Guided Meditations Help with Fertility.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. May it be filled with happiness, despite whatever struggles you may be facing.

xoxo,
Laura

7 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. I see this topic a lot and can only pray that The Lord will strengthen me if this ever came up in my life. Glad to hear you've found healing and hope. xo

    Danica

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Danica. I'm so glad I've found healing and hope too. Thanks for reading <3

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  2. Thank you for sharing this. It is exactly what I needed today. I will look into that CD.

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  3. I realize this isn't a new post, but I have just found it and am recently had infertility issues arise. I've felt so alone so thank you for posting about your own experience.

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    1. Absolutely, Tiah. I'm so glad you've found this post and I hope you find some comfort + healing along your journey. I'll be thinking of you!

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  4. Alejandra CarabanoAugust 14, 2015 at 2:29 AM

    So glad I found your blog! I've been struggling with infertility since I was 25 (I'm 28 now). Sometimes you feel so alone even if there's people who wants to be there for you, but usually those people are not in the same position as you so, they can have a hard time understanding why you can't be relax and hopeful all the time...Thank you so so much for sharing!!!

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Hello gorgeous, I love reading your comments!